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Ralph is a working stiff who tries his best but misfortune seems to befall him at every turn. If backed into a corner, he can be quite resourceful, but he’s far more used to reacting. He is typically quite hungry. When he is not pursuing food, he’s chasing the ladies, and vice versa. Ralph joined the MUTES in a grand, yet rather inadvertent fashion. A small town theater, where Ralph was a janitor, was hosting the MUTES. On the first night of their performance, he fell from the catwalks onto the set (he had been chasing a cat who had stolen the fish he had cooked for himself in the alley). Dazed but unhurt, the stunt got such huge laughs that Vine hired him on the spot. A Duchess-and-Vine-hand-shaped print seems to be a semi-permanent feature of the side of his face.
Polly "Pantaloons" Poindexter is the animal lover of the group. She spent the majority of her childhood bringing home any stray cat or dead opossum she could find; interestingly enough, this is also where her love of amateur taxidermy was born. Polly did not have many human friends as a child. The M.U.T.E.S. stumbled upon Polly by accident late one evening when the car they were traveling in nearly ran her over while she was trying to scrape the remains of a raccoon off the road. Unwilling to share her latest find, Polly attempted to fight the group of intruders. The M.U.T.E.S., impressed by Polly's conviction, invited her to join them in their travels, under one condition- that she leave her animals at home.
Polly may or may not have heeded the demands of the rest of the group, but what they don't know won't hurt them.
Oskar T.B. Wendall was once a well-beloved film tycoon until a string of mistakes during prohibition ruined his good name and took away his fortunes. Left with only his benny and a bindlestiff he struck out on the ole’ Apple Butter Route, barely a step ahead of the law. One night while jake-legged on cheap moonshine he stumbled into an elaborate hobo jungle. There he was given a new set of rags, fed, and told of a mysterious place known as the Big Rock Candy Mountain, where a bum can live for many a day and he don’t need any money. The next day he awoke to find that the hobo jungle had disappeared and he had been afflicted with a wicked bout of the crotch crickets. Oskar decided to strike out for the mountain anyways. Along the way, after being cured in a tent-side revival and feeling light in his step, he tried to pickpocket Vine. This ended in a pounding by Nash Vandeburgh. Vine’s ever watchful eye noticed Oskar’s drunken ability to withstand pain, and figured he’d be perfect for the group. Oskar agreed to help as he continued along on his journey, but he still hasn’t found so much as a single hot dog tree or lake of gin.
Theda de Sade was born October 31 (year unknown) in Paris, France. She is the daughter of a Romanian Count and his mistress, a member of the demimonde. Growing up in luxury, she was educated in the finest schools in Europe, studying art and literature. While briefly working as an artist’s model, she met her first husband, who helped her get into polite society. The marriage was short, as he died under mysterious (though unprovable) circumstances. Widowed twice more, she gained only the wealth of her husbands, as well as a black widow reputation. Theda decided to leave Paris, merely to leave a new trail of ruined souls. Unapologetic, uncaring, and unimpressed, she continued maneuvering her way through high society. She became the “lady fair” of a great many fools, later sending them back to their families embarrassed and disgraced. Even with the scandal that surrounds her wherever she travels, Theda has been praised for her sophistication, her intelligence, and her dark, unique beauty. In her spare time, when not being referred to as a succubus or “the black haired demon,” Theda enjoys spending moonlit nights in cemeteries, visiting past loves who are with us no more. (Once again, you can’t prove a thing).
Carl Mahnke was rescued from the circus by Polly "Pantaloons" Poindexter shortly before
joining The M.U.T.E.S. and quickly, this little monkey saw the
group was in trouble. He quickly started working on caption
cards, drawing flyers, and building props for this group of
scandalous ne’er-do-wells.
He built and maintains their website (themutes.com) and has
made the rare performance appearance, as the “card monkey,”
a term he finds most offensive.
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